an ideal world

forgive me if i come across as cynical. perhaps it's the grey clouds smudging the early morning sky. or my anxious thoughts. or the empty canvas at home begging to be filled. or my filled up calendar begging to be emptied.

i find ideals tiresome. yet, by desiring a world without ideals, i am, in a sense, being idealistic.

lately it seems my husband and i have a lot more 'admirers' now that we're going to korea. standing in line at a bank to exchange canadian dollars for korean wons, i am suddenly thrust into conversation with an over zealous teller, soon to be joined by other tellers who look jealously upon this 'adventurous woman' daring to cross the seas.

my sister tells me she wishes she could say she was going to teach english in korea. and i ask, why? to satisfy strangers' quota for excitement?

when my husband and i enlisted in youth work three years ago, the reactions were "oh, that's nice." "that must be challenging." "when are you going to get a real job?"

meanwhile, the last three years have been stocked as high as a 20-floor apartment with adventure. it's people who breathe life into us, not places. it's quality, not distance. it's about charity, love, and faith -- not culture or tourism.

the funny thing is, those tellers won't remember me from a hole in the ground when i return. but our youth will.